Unibind boy couldn’t get enough of me. Thought I was hilarious. Kept exclaiming over the phone how FUNNY I was, how NO NONSENSE!!
‘Was I a manager?’, he stammered excitedly in disbelief at my imperative manner.
‘No’, my reply.
"But I do speak on behalf of the managing director when I say
STOP WASTING MY TIME!”
*shriek!*
He keeps trying:
“I was in an office the other day giving a demonstration, and they showed me their binding system, and you wouldn’t BELIEVE how complicated and antiquated it was……..you may think we’re expensive, but honestly, you should have seen how bad their system was…”
I GIVE HIM THE BENEFIT OF SILENCE……
ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS UNIBIND BOY?
ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!!
“Look”, I cut him short, “you sound like you’re about to spiel an overused sales pitch. And I’m not listening.”
He hurriedly drums up another angle from his tired backlog of laminate excuses:
“I can speak to my manager. I can see if I can get you a deal…”
“Look, don’t bother. It’s a rip-off. I’ll speak to my budget holder, and I’ll get back to you if we need any, okay?!”
*silencio*
“okay.”
“ and I MIGHT call you next week, but DON’T call me”.
“alright”
“and have a lovely weekend now, won’t you?”
*gasp*
*slam*
£72 fucking quid for a piece of shitty plastic. Fuck off out of it, unibind boy….
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